Lost

I was just reminiscing back when I first started working here for my internship. My first day here was so boring and I was complaining by when will this 3 months end. With a glimpse of an eye, it's now over. It's my last day today. To be frank, I'm starting to miss this office already. Although it was boring at times, actually most of the time, and hate waking up early morning and always complaining that I don't have enough of sleep, but still I will miss my time here very much. I truly will.

I'm happy that it's over and I will be going for holidays tomorrow. I'm sad that I have to leave this place, realizing that time passes by too fast and I will be starting classes soon. So much had happened through out the holidays. Some bad some good. Classes are starting soon which means I need to start to get serious again. Is it good, is it bad? I don't know. I'll just wait and see.

Because I played so much in the earlier years, I now have to extend another semester, if not, I would had already finished by now and starting to look for jobs like my other friends. This time this year in uni, the aura will be different. No more big groups like I used to have...No more craziness...No more fun...I hope this 4 months of this semester will pass by fast.

I really miss everyone. All my friends. I really miss uni days. Though I have another semester, but it's different now. All my other close friends are now off to different roads. Departing during uni days is just like departing high school and college. Oh dear how fast time past. I always hate feelings like this. The feeling of having to lose something in your life. Not only someone, but losing the time we used to had, losing some friends because they are going somewhere else to further their studies, losing the company of so many friends, losing those days where we celebrated everyone's birthday together, losing a lot of things we used to have...

I'm feeling so hollow now. I don't know why. I just feel that everything is thorn from me. Everything I used to have is now gone. I have to start a whole new life again. Transition from nursery, then kindergarten, then primary, then secondary, then college, then university and now working. It's sometimes hard for me to accept a sudden transition. Though I know it will come, but sometimes I never expect it would be so soon.

I feel so lost. Is like as if, someone threw me somewhere which I'm not familiar with and I have to learn to be familiar again. I never like departures. But I always enjoy arrivals. People come people go, my mum always tells me that. It's true, but it's always very hard for me to get over it. I have to learn to be strong in this matter. I'm really weak in these things.

I wish I could be stronger. I will learn to be stronger though!

Happy Birthday Chin Huang =)

I'm not myself today. I don't know why. It's like I left something in my dreams. I woke up this morning and I felt different. I can't explain how is it like, but it's just different. Came to work today like usual but all the supervisors were not in. 2 to the site and another 2 to the tender's office for a meeting.

I want to wish dear Chin Huang happy birthday! You're 23 now. You should be wiser and more alert in whatever you're doing! I wish you all the best in looking for a proper and decent job and also in all your undertakings! May God bless you... =)

To Weng Wai and Halim, I hope you guys are doing good there so far although you guys are there for less than half a day. I wish you all the best there as well. I'm starting to miss you guys already. Luckily I didn't send them off, if not, my eyes will be flooded in tears and I will get swollen eyes when I wake up this morning. While I was on the way back driving thinking that both of them are leaving already made me teared a little, what more if I see them boarding the plane and leaving?

Like what people always say. Things come things go. And more of that will soon to come. This is life. We just have to accept it as it is.

I just wish mine isn't that bad.

Farewell Weng Wai and Halim

Time flies...A month ago I booked mt tickets to Jakarta and in 4 days time, I'm flying off there already.

Few months back, after our final exams, Weng Wai and Halim were just deciding to do their masters in Melbourne, Australia, and TONIGHT, they will be flying there already! Gosh I will miss them.

Since SAM, Taylors I met Weng Wai but only got closer to him when we were in Monash and Halim since first year, after 4 years, I can't believe that now, I will only see them after 9 months or more when I used to see them practically everyday during University days.

Halim the brilliant brainy who always helps me with my studies and Weng Wai the magnificent kind hearted and hardworking who always encourages people to never give up and also always lend a helping hand when you need help (apart from studies) will be departing at 00:50 18th February 2009. I pray that you both will have a safe flight all the way to Melbourne and of course DO NOT FORGET ME here!!! LOL!~~

I will surely miss you guys alot! But it's ok lar...nowadays the technology so efficient already! hehe...this year will be a year where I won't be able to celebrate my birthday without the presence of you both.

Me and Wai Loon maybe together with Ah Dai will try out best to go over to Melbourne and visit you guys. I can imagine it will be a blast if we really made it over there for holidays! Wish that we'll strike lottery lar and confirm expenses all paid!

Bon Voyage! Adios! Selamat Tinggal! Good bye!

I have not been blogging for weeks, ever since CNY started till today. I had been busy going out, not only house visiting but also catching up with all my dear old friends.

As the saying goes, "A new year a new beginning". Will I be able to achieve that? I really hope I can. How am I feeling deep down inside me is unexplainable. No matter how close the person is to me, I still can't express it out to that person. Usually I can but maybe as I grow older I tend to feel that those problems are just meant to stay in me and not trouble other people around me.

I pray and hope every night before I go to sleep that God will show me a way to walk my life. I wish He could sometimes show it to me in my dreams. I know how I want my life to be it's up to me but yet I still need guidance. I don't want to live a life full of regrets. I want to live a life full of happiness. I always wants the best for people around me especially my close buddies and boy friend although sometimes I make them sad and offended them, but I still wants the best for them. No matter how sick I am, how tired I am, how down I am, how broke I am, I'll still try my very best to make them happy.

I'm an only child which of course is considered to be lucky! Yes, I totally agree with it. I can't be any luckier to be my parent's one an only child, but at the same time, I am also full of sorrows. Some flew to me naturally and I guess some were caused by the decisions I made. I always try not to regret what had happened and what had I done wrong last time because it will just make me weaker. Instead, I take it as another lesson learned to help me be a stronger person.

To be honest, I am not perfectly an obedient daughter, a brilliant friend or a fantastic girlfriend. Yet, I still try hard enough to be one. Sometimes I try so hard, that it will end up disappointing me. I always wish things were much easier to be handled. The older I get the more problems I encounter. It's good in a way that I learn more when I'm younger so that I can be a better person in future rather than learning it later and being worst when I'm much older. It is also bad in away that if I cannot handle it well enough, I will jsut fall into depression one day.

I guess I really need a long break away from KL. It will be better if it's overseas. I need to relax my mind for a while to see things clearly. What I really want and need in my life. How I want my life to be. Who do I want to live my life with. I always believe God is there to guide me.

P/S: Pictures of CNY and other random outing will be posted up another day! Sorry peeps!~