Friday

I wish there more public holidays although there already quite a lot in Malaysia. It feels like Monday today but its Tuesday because yesterday was a public holiday for “Hari Raya Haji”. This Thursday is a public holiday again but only for Selangor region. So for those working in KL, too bad! *grins*.

So what did I do the entire weekend?

Friday night had a birthday dinner for Meng Sang. Glad that he liked his present. We bought him a wallet from Bonia. Halim chose it. Lucky his taste wasn’t that bad. LOL! Just kidding. Anyway, after the dinner, we headed to SS15 to play some pool and foosball. Wai Loon and Halim were considered beginner. Not bad for a beginner. I taught Wai Loon and Chin Huang taught Halim.

You know sometimes, people are just borned brilliant huh! That Halim, not only his blardy good at his studies, in fact he is a really fast learner. Just taught him some skills on how to play pool, and WOOAALAA!! you get an expert! Well, not that he was so good, but like I said, well enough for a beginner. Those side wall balls, his really good at it. Though I’ve been playing for god knows how long, I still can’t get to shoot those side wall balls, but for him, it’s like a piece of cake!

We had a beer or 2 while playing. Later on, the birthday boy wanted to play a game with me. I was like, OMG! Don’t please, I’m not that good. Seriously I’m not. I’m just so so. The birthday boy is considered very good at playing and Chin Huang too. He still insisted, so since it was his birthday, oklar I give face a bit. So I played the first game, I lost as predicted but the second game, I won!! Fuh…luckily…

That's it for the day!

MIGRAINE AGAIN

I’m having a migraine today. The last time was on Tuesday and now is the second time this week. Shit! I hate it when I have this migraine especially if I have some function later during the day. Lucky I have this one last paracetamol from Indonesia to overcome this pain. But it is my last packet; I need to ask someone to help me buy it, anyone going to Bali? Only that medicine can work because the mg there is higher than the mg here and the panadol here don’t work for me anymore, not even the active fast! God help me!

I’m starting to feel bored again. Another 2 and the half hours more before I can end my last day of work this week. Then it will be another 10 more weeks to go. My friend asked to go to hard rock today, but I don’t feel like going. Big Band will be playing now for 2 months replacing T-Rex who played for the last 2 months. So boring la local bands…some more no leng chai! Never mind, I’ll just take a short break from going hard rock too often.

The equation of not going to hard rock will be like this:

Not going to HRC so often = Enough beauty sleep = Nice skin complexion

The other equation is:

Not going to HRC so often = Not meeting up with my head bangers club member = Not enough dancing = Fat if don’t control cause input too much and no output

LOL!

I blogged later than I used to on every other days. Not because I was late for work, but becauseI had something to do. Yes, a day with something to do! I came in this morning, and straight away my supervisor greeted me and said, “Yuen, I have something for you to do today!” In my heart I was like, yes, finally, not so of a boring day. LOL! That shows how desperate I am to find something to do in the office. Anyway, I’m done with the work. Waiting for them to come back from a meeting and I will cross check with them and hopefully more work. Time tends to pass by MUCH faster when you’re occupied with something. That’s why, every time when someone is feeling down because they just broke up, the best way is always asking them to find something to do so that time flies and eventually you will forget what had happened. Of course not everything, memories will still be there, but you will recover from that bad dream!

Talking about having break ups, I remembered when I had my first break up ever. It really took me away. I cried and cried for so long and moan for half a year, maybe even more. I even tried to kill myself which I know it’s so stupid thinking about it now, but back then, when you’re so sad and you don’t want to go through the pain and suffers, always that was the solution. I’m sure most of the people had tried it. Whether they die or they live, that depends on their fate. Love really hurts. It really does. It can change a person a lot. Lucky for me, I change to be someone better (not in all ways but in some ways). In fact, thanks to the break up, I leanrt how to upkeep myself better, make more friends and be more sociable.

Moving on, let’s not talk about break ups on a nice day like this ok. I’m very happy with my Ipod nano. Yesterday I transferred the songs into it and pictures too. Everything is done for me automatically. I just need to download itunes 8 and that’s it. Any new songs that I download will be inside my itunes and when I connect my Ipod to the pc, I will just update it. I think I uploaded about 300 songs into the player and around 135 pictures but then, I still have 12GB. Getting this nano is a very good deal indeed, no regrets! The only thing left is to get a screen protector and the cover so that I will be scratch proof. LOL!

Last night I watched Bolt. Nice cartoon movie. The dog is SO CUTE! But the funny thing is, how the dog can be as big as the human. In fact, the dog’s face is bigger than the human’s face. Well anyway, is just a cartoon movie.

Oh ya, by the way, Happy 22^nd Birthday Meng Sang! Another year older, another year wiser, another year with more problems. =) May all your wishes come true ok!

Promise it will be my last post of the day

Sky looks dark from my office. I think it’s either going to rain soon, or it already started raining. Today is the first day I parked my car at the season parking area and it’s an outdoor car park. What’s worst, it’s next to the building I’m working to, not the building I’m working at. So when it rains, I will get wet. I need to get myself the small folded umbrella. I used to have one, but I do not know where I put it. Its Esprit’s some more!

I attended a meeting earlier along with 2 of my supervisors. It was a vendor for this company. They are trying to convince us real hard to buy their item and on our side, we have to convince our management to choose them too! LOL! They tried real hard, I hope they will get at least one of the company’s project.

I’ve been in this meeting twice already. It’s nice being the one to decide and people wanting you to buy their product. Meaning you play an important role huh! Now I know what I want to work as when I graduate. I would prefer to be in the sales department and then move up to be a manager. That’s my objective. Something I would like to achieve by the time I turn 30.

Another 1 ½ hours to go. I don’t know how to waste my time so I just had to blog again. Sorry if you readers get bored. But understand me; I’m just trying to buy time. During these 2 weeks of work, I have read all the blogs that I can possibly read, check all my mails that I can possibly check, replying all my mails in FB and friendster that I can possibly reply and even finish half my internship report already. I have another 10 more weeks to go after tomorrow and I really hope that there will be something for me to do. I’d rather complain I’m so busy than to complain I’m so bored.

At least even I’m very busy like how I used to be when I worked in HP years back, I don’t feel sleepy at all even though the night before I only slept for 3 hours. But when there is nothing to do, no matter how long you sleep, you just feel like sleeping even more. If I’m not mistaken, next week there will be 2 public holidays one is for all and another especially for Selangor. I wonder if our company is under Selangor? I hope so, and then I will only need to work for 3 days next week.

Since this weekend is a long one, because Monday is a holiday, my earlier plan was to go down to Singapore to do some shopping! Yes yes, I’m a shopaholic! That’s just me. Last 2 weeks news flash was that Bangkok’s airport was closed down due to those Thai activists who were protesting outside the airport but today it seems that the case has been settled and the airport is now open. So I guess my trip to Bangkok will be resumed? Earlier, my dad wanted to cancel it or either post pone it. But I don’t think it is necessary now. So I can’t go to Singapore, since I’m going to Bangkok. I can’t be shopping at both places, unless I have unlimited amount of money!

Can anyone tell me, how to make fast money? LOL!

Whoever who reads my blog, will think I’m too boring that I have to blog twice a day. Well, I am really very bored here in the office. Only sometimes I have things to do but most of the time, nothing!

My friend asked me yesterday. Will you accept someone who is 12 years older than you and who is a DJ? Hmmm…I don’t mind him being a DJ but 12 years older? Wow! I know people will say age doesn’t matters, but for me it does. 12 years is like a whole cycle in the Chinese calendar. Is not because I think he is too old or what but then, I just feel uncomfortable being with someone so many year difference from my age. I told her, she need to think it through before she makes a move.

It’s been almost 11 months since I last saw my cousin. She put on quite some weight and her “2 mountains” are much bigger now. LOL! Last time mine was bigger but because I lost quite some weight throughout this year, it shrunk and now hers was much bigger!! LOL! I’m not obsessed or anything, but then why is it when most Asians end up in western countries, they will always gain weight!?

I sometimes complain that I’m short and fat. Why I’m not tall enough to wear anything I like? Why isn’t my skin as smooth as some people? Why can’t my legs be more slender? Why can’t this…why can’t that? But when I see some people who are worst than me, I should be thankful enough that I’m not that bad after all! Yes, appreciate what you have.

Nano

GOOoood Morning! Welcome! Welcome!

I sound happy today right? Greeting everyone to my blog!

OK, here it is, I received my new Ipod nano from cousin last night. She just came back from Australia. Before she was back, she asked me whether I wanted anything from there. This was how the conversation went:

Evie: Yuen, you want anything from here or not since I’m coming back on Wednesday?

Yuen: Erm…nothing that I can think of besides chocolate…(which I love most which can make me happy even when I’m down)

Evie: Aiya, I know la chocolates, other than that?

Yuen: Cannot think of any other things already. What’s there in Aussie?

Evie: Never mind la, I go walk around see see got anything or not for you ok?

Yuen: OK!

Evie: Oh ya! Any electronic gadgets that you want from here since cuz it’s cheaper and if it’s more than $300 can claim tax.

Yuen: Hmmmm……..Yes! Ipod Nano please!!?? How much is it there?

Evie: It’s about $269….eh no, $279, still cheaper than Malaysia right since the exchange drop already?

Yuen: Yeah yeah..can can, even if it’s $279 is still cheaper by almost RM100.

Evie: Ok la! Then I will try to get for you. What color you want?

Yuen: IF red will be the best choice, if can’t you choose between the purple and black

Evie: Alright!

Yuen: Thanx a lot!!

So there goes, my Ipod was on the way. I chat with her last Friday, and on Monday when I saw her online, I just asked her again about the Ipod. She told me she haven’t it yet cause she was away in some place together with her parents who went there for holidays so she didn’t had time to buy for me. And since she hasn’t pack, and it was already a Monday when her flight is on Tuesday in the midnight, she might not be able to buy for me! =( (heart almost break). But then she told me, unless you’re willing to wait till the 24^th December when one of her friends will be coming back, then she can ask them to help buy for me. Though long, but it’s still worth. So, I agreed. BUT then the night before she flew off, she called me and asked me which color do you prefer? She said the purple didn’t look very nice and if I want another color apart from black, she recommended me pink. I didn’t like the pink, so I just ask her to get me the black! What’s the best part; she only got it for $253! Wow, I save even more!!! I love her for being able to get it for me before she flew back to Malaysia! Thanks a million babe!!!

I tried to transfer songs to the Ipod but then because my itunes was the older version so I had to download the newer version instead. Last time I had an Ipod shuffle and it got stolen last month when I got snatched thief at my aunty’s housing area (let’s not talk about this robbed case in detail, it terrified me till now).

I didn’t have wireless connection in my house at Klang, so I couldn’t proceed and had to stopped and think of a way to transfer the songs. I didn’t want to use my dad’s pc because it is full of virus. Moreover the Ipod is new; I don’t want any harm against it. LOL! It’s my part time lover now. Whenever I feel lonely and bored, the only entertainment I get is from my Ipod. So maybe today I will drop by Starbucks or something to update my itunes version then I can start transferring songs tonight. Ooohh I can’t wait!

Yay! Yay! I got my Ipod Nano at last!

I might seem like a very happy girl, but actually deep down inside me I’m not. Yes, I might have own anything I want because I’m just an only daughter, but what I really want in life has not been achieved yet.

I always try to please someone without knowing whether am I pleasing myself or hurting myself. I’m sick and tired of being like that, but I just can’t take it away from me. Maybe I’m just brought up to behave like that. I give more than I get in returned. Yes, I know there is no harm giving more, but sometimes too much is not a good thing because things will be taken for granted instead.

It’s so difficult to be a human being in this world sometimes. When you’re too good and people get jealous, they’ll talk about you, when you’re bad, they’ll talk about you too. So how? Just be a dog or any pet also better la…Everyday also get food, get sayang, get to go jalan- jalan sometimes. *Sigh*

Will I regret if I’m going to make this decision?

Will my parent be so upset over me?

Will I get the best or the worst from what I’m going to do?

Please tell me…

If I Were a Boy

If I were a boy
even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
and I'd never get confronted for it
cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
so they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
waiting for me to come home, to come home.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake,
think i'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
and you don't understand, ohhhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

I was sick last week and I am sick again this week. I did not go to work yesterday because I was down with a bad migraine due to *ehemmm* woman’s time of the month. If I can take leave for one whole week, I would, not only to rest but also to kill my super free time in the office.

I should have done my training last year so that I could enjoy my holidays this year. Too late to regret as we can’t turned back time. =(

WHAT IF I did not meet you in the first place, will I be happier now?

WHAT IF I had done better, will I be here now?

WHAT IF I hadn’t gone there, will I be like this now?

WHAT IF I had never started in the first place, will I be better off now?

Sometimes, I wonder what life is like if all the “What Ifs” were true.

Am I a bad friend?

Am I a bad daughter?

Am I a bad girlfriend?

Am I a bad person?

I hate myself most of the times for what I have done but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it earlier. Life’s always full of regrets, is just the matter of whether can you leave it and learnt from it or will it haunt you instead to make your life worst? For me, I have learnt from my regrets/mistakes but of course there are still some mistakes we often make though we know we shouldn’t.

I love to chat with older people because I believe their experienced in life are of course much greater than mine. Some maybe some may not. The phrase “It’s easier said than done” it’s always true. I had experienced it many times. Whether is it studies, or love, or safety or whatever! We always learn our lesson when it has already happened and then we fear it.

Another post means another boring day in work. Let’s not talk more about work. Let’s talk about what happen during the weekends.

Friday night:

The 9 of us, ME, Ling Ying, Chin Huang, Halim, Wai Loon, Alex, Meng Sang, Benjamin and Tee Yen went to Hard Rock for our so called results celebration dinner. Everyone did well, so congratulations to everyone including me. All have graduated except for me, Alex, Benjamin and Tee Yen. So while the rest are looking for a job or furthering their studies, the 4 of use named will still continue studying for another semester. Anyway, let’s move on to what happen that night. We reached there at 7.30 pm. It took us 2 hours just to reach there due to the terrible traffic jam moreover it was raining as well, so it’s even worst. Once there, we were on the waiting list since I couldn’t make reservation because it was already full. We waited for about 30 minutes or so before we could get our table and that also we have to squeeze 9 persons to a table which was for 6 persons only. Whatever it is, it was better than nothing.

I’m surprised with the service given by them this time. They were not only rude but bossy as well. Actually, not all the staff there of course but some. And to that “some” you better not pissed me of before I make you worst. Despite me a regular there that you can take me for granted, but most of my friends are just first timers there and this kinda treatment is what we get? Even if you don’t give face to me, at least give face to them. You know, when we ushered to our table, that particular waitress/ter said, after eating I would like to have back this table as there are more reservations to come. I got real fire hot when I heard that statement. “Eh Hello!!! I am your God damn customer alright. We have the right to stay there as long as we want. You don’t have any power to tell us what we are supposed to do. I felt so embarrassed because, not only my friends had to wait so long for the seats, and now, they have to rush while eating? No way I’m gonna let that happened. Thank god, these 2 waiters who helped me out and treat me and my friends so well throughout the night. I am very grateful to have that one particular waiter who’s named should not be mentioned. After dinner, we ordered 2 towers or beer since it was happy hour (RM73) non-happy hour (RM173++) and we played this “seven” game which you should know if you are a frequent drinker (Hint: You can’t say multiples of 7 of number with 7). Halim had his first flaming that night since he got the best thesis award and definitely best student of the year. We shared actually, between me, Alex and Halim. Of course if Halim were to drink it himself, I think his head will be spinning the entire night. Some of them had red face, Alex, Chin Huang, Benjamin, Meng Sang and Wai Loon. Me, my face never turned red even if I’m drunk. Everything else went on fine after that. At around midnight, they left and I stayed as I had to meet my other friends here. FYI, most of the time, every Friday night will be a night where all of us (the entire hard rock gang) will meet up, just like a reunion.

I was there since 8.30pm till 3am. From dinner till clubbing till the end. Usually I will meet up with my hard rock gang at 11pm-12am. But since I had dinner there, so I just stayed all the way. When my friends left, luckily, Bob, Sha Sha and Abang Min was there, so I wasn’t alone. For the entire 3 years I’ve been there I have never heard them stopping customer’s from entering due to “FULL HOUSE”. Usually, the just let people in and tonight was not as crowded as the week before and is already considered “FULL HOUSE”. The GM was there that’s why he was the one who controlled the crowd. Good in a way cause the place will not be to hot and stuffy, knowing that when people start to dance and the band starts to play, the place will be so hot like as if we’re in the sauna especially on the dance floor. My dear friend Ryn came late so she didn’t get the chance to enter. It was also partly my fault, because when she reached she tried calling me 3 times but I didn’t answer the call because I left it in my back like I always do because I’m scared that I will lose it knowing that I am careless. Lucky she managed to get hold of Bob but by the time he told me, she was already gone, waiting in her car together with Omar wanting to go somewhere else just for a drink. I couldn’t persuade her to come back and I will get you in, because I cannot guarantee that she will be able to enter, moreover she was with someone else. Even hose regular drinking customers who opens bottle every weekend can’t bring people in, even worst if it was me. On the other end, Hannah with her bunch of friends insisted on waiting so they queued up and waited for quite some time but they managed to get in at last! So the hard work queuing up paid off at last. LOL! After that, Ijan came and we just enjoyed throughout the whole night. I was dead f**king tired by the time everything ended because I was practically awake for 24 hours. From 7 morning on Friday till 7 morning on Saturday. Reached home, bathe and straight to bed.

I don't understand how some people can be so selfish. Do they ever thought about how other people feels? I hate it when priority is given to the same person and the rest just have to follow. I hate it when people think differently about you. And I hate it most when people say you are just the same when you do not know what is it really about.

A New Comeback

Yes, I have been missing since the last post in this blog. I am now starting to blog again because I'm so blardy boring. I am completing my industrial training in some company in Tropicana Damansara for 3 full months. It seems so long because everyday there is nothing to be done here. My daily routine in the office is just surfing the net and of course blogging. Sometimes, I will given some task to do and I do it fast cause I am so boring that I get excited when there is SOMETHING to do. Since the first day of work (24th Nov 2008), I only did 2 things, one is assisting in counting and checking the amount of valves in some drawing which is so complicated and small and the second one was doing an assignment to find out why the company prefers DCS control system more than PLC control system. I'm still working on that actually. I was so bored that most of the time, I surf the net more than finding out the reason why. My supervisor hand to me 4 proposals so find the answer to his question. 2 are the proposals for DCS and the other 2 are for PLC. (P/S: anyone out there who are reading this post, please advice me why is it better? FYI this company processes chemical stuff)

The first day was still OK. I manage to burn off time because I followed another supervisor to their site in Klang. So he took me around and explained to me many things which I think would help me a lot in my report writing later on. I need to do this report fast and detailed because next semester is my last semester and I want to graduate in September! I don't want to wait for another year just because of this damn industrial training report and not because I failed another subject! OK, so moving on, I was issued a safety boots which looks funny cause they look rough at the same time small because my foot is small and I look hilarious with their white safety cap. Lucky I didn't take any picture of me wearing like that. Maybe no one can recognize me too. Well, half the day I was already there and by the time I reach this office in Tropicana, it was already 3pm, so means I have another 2 hours and 45 minutes and then off I go. By the way, the working time here for me is from 8.30 am to 5.45 pm and the best part is, I'm only paid RM300. Another thing is that, I only have 45 minutes of lunch which is from 12.30pm till 1.15pm. Oh my god, I mean no offense, this company is a public listed company, yes they are good but I am just a trainee. Even if they only pay me RM300 I am still ok with it but I have nothing much to do here and they make me work longer hours than any other company and they only give me 45 minutes of lunch break! The worst part, I have to work for 12 freaking weeks.

All because of the damn Monash Engineering Law which states that students must undergo an industrial training of a total of 12 weeks in order to graduate. So meaning even if you do well for your exams, but you haven't complete your training, you won't get to graduate at all until you do your training. There are pros and cons the school came up with this idea. Well generally they wanted the students to have a feel what is it like being in the real world of engineers which is good but the thing is just being a trainee for 3 months is too short of a period, mostly nothing much will be learnt because usually, they are too busy to care much about you, and even if they want to give you something to do, it will be plain office paper work. They can't afford to involve you in a big huge project which will cost damn millions if we fail to commit. Anyway, I think they should make it optional for students whether or not they want to undergo the training or not.

The second working day, I followed another supervisor for another meeting. By the way, I have a total of 4 supervisors. Going to back to what I just typed, yes, another meeting which was a discussion with their vendor on what they require if the project is being given to that vendor. Anyway, he wanted me to learn something so he just asked me to follow in. What I did there was just sitting down on a comfortable chair, smiling and listening to their conversation. The whole time, I felt like as if I'm just a doll there! Lol! Anyway, today is already Friday, finally 1 week gone and 11 more to go.

My New T2

I went to PC Fair last Saturday and got myself a new camera which I've been crazing for, for months. Finally, I got it and it's a good deal also! RM1300 with a free ODM watch which costs easily RM400. Since now I have a new camera, I can now start loading more pics in already. Especially in my facebook since some friends complaining why got no new pictures in it.

I'm still learning to use my new cam. So many applications I'm getting blur already! LOL! Anyway, it's a nice white camera. Supposedly, I wanted to get the metallic blue colour, but then since the free watch that comes with it has to blue also and the blue want is so ugly, so I don't have the choice to choose the white instead. Nevermind, it's nice also. LOL!

A Wonderful Bali Holiday

When to Bali for 5 days 4 nights and it was a wonderful holiday despite my bad cough. We stayed in 3 different hotels. 2 different hotels in Kuta and one hotel in Ubud. Drink, smoke and shop alot and also got burned because I was to lazy to put on the sun block lotion when I went to the beach. Went to Hard Rock Cafe on Tuesday night and Thursday night to watch my friends from a band perform. Bought quite a lot of things. 5 tops, 3 bottoms, 1 dress, 6 pairs of slippers and some other accessories. When there with one bag, came back with 2. It's normal lar anyway if you go to some place which is like a shopping paradise.

Me and Chin Huang also went to want bar in Legian. It's called Apache Bar. Nice environment. Drank their Bintang local beer which was darn cheap and nice and smoke like one whole box of 20s Lucky Strike menthol. The nikotine contain was lower as compared to KL and the price was super low also. After converting to MYR is only RM 3+. My goodness!

Visited some very beautiful places like Tanah Lot and Kintamani where the volcano is. Tanah Lot is a very very beautiful place. The scenery there is superb. If you were to go to Bali for holidays, never miss out visiting Tanah Lot!

Many events happened there, visited so many places and did so many things but I'm just lazy to blog about it. I know I should have put up some pics but then cuz I don't own a camera yet (which I'm hoping to own one soon) so I'm also lazy to get it from CH camera and load it here. Maybe next time lar.

In short, Bali is a nice place to go for holidays and for shopping especially if you're someone who likes brands like Roxy, Quiksilver, Ripcurl, Billabong, Surfer's Girl and etc. Besides those who like surfing, they should not miss out Bali. I wanted to learn to surf, but because i haven't recover from my sprained ankle which I sprained 2 weeks ago, I couldn't learn how to surf. It's ok, hopefully next year I can go there again!

Easy/Difficult

It's Easy to get a place in someone's address book
It's Difficult to get a place in someone's heart

It's Easy to judge the mistakes of others
It's Difficult to recognize our own mistakes

It's Easy to talk without thinking
It's Difficult to refrain the tongue

It's Easy to hurt someone who loves us
It's Difficult to heal the wound

It's Easy to forgive others
It's Difficult to ask for forgiveness

It's Easy to set rules
It's Difficult to follow them

It's Easy to dream every night
It's Difficult to fight for a dream

It's Easy to show victory
It's Difficult to assume defeat with dignity

It's Easy to admire a full moon
It's Difficult to see the other side

It's Easy to stumble with a stone
It's Difficult to get up

It's Easy to enjoy life everyday
It's Difficult to give it's real value

It's Easy to promise something to someone
It's Difficult to fulfill that promise

It's Easy to say we love
It's Difficult to show it everyday

It's Easy criticize others
It's Difficult to improve oneself

It's Easy to make mistakes
It's Difficult to learn from them

It's Easy to weep for a lost love
It's Difficult to take care of it so not to lose it

It's Easy to think about improving
It's Difficult to stop thinking about it and put it into action

It's Easy to think bad of others
It's Difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt

It's Easy to receive
It's Difficult to give

It's Easy to read this
It's Difficult to follow

It's Easy to keep the friendship with words
It's Difficult to keep it with meanings

It's true when you read everything that is stated above. Why is it difficult for us to do all this?

I Feared

I feared being alone until I learned to like myself

I feared failure until I realized that I only fail if I don't try

I feared success until I realized I had to try in order to be happy with myself

I feared people's opinion until I learned that people will have opinions about me anyway

I feared rejection until I learned to have faith in myself

I feared pain until I learned that it is necessary for growth

I feared the truth until I saw the ugliness in lies

I feared life until I experienced it's beauty

I feared death until I realized is not an end, but a beginning

I feared my destiny until I realized I had the power to change my life

I feared hate until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance

I feared love until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days

I feared ridicule until I learned how to laugh at myself

I feared growing old until I realized that I gained wisdom everyday

I feared the future until I realized that life just kept getting better

I feared the past until I realized that it could no longer hurt me

I feared the dark until I saw the beauty of the starlight

I feared the light until I learned that the truth will give me strength

I feared change until I saw even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly

I hope now to find the meaning of life so that I can gain more happiness everyday

Presentation over

Yes! It's over. I'm done with it! But I still have another 2 reports to finish and 1 assignment to be done. I'm now in the micro P lab demo-ing my lab test which I did long time ago. Now I'm scared that mine won't work. Gosh!!!!!

Laughter the Best Medicine

There's this guy in Uni that practically everyone of us avoids. He is one, that you wonder, what the hell is he doing studying engineering in Monash. He always carry a huge back pack, with lots of books in his hands however, he don't seem to score as good as we think he would. No offense, not that I'm saying that he is stupid of what, cause I myself is not that great though, but then, I don't give the impression to people that I am a studious type of girl. Anyway, talking about this post "title", let me tell you a story.

All of us, practically our gang, is always in the project lab on Tuesdays to do our project. One of my friend who is not in the same group as I am, was also avoiding this guy I'm talking about. He wanted to go over another side by sitting on the roller chair by just pushing it, however, while going over to the other side, halfway when he saw that guy, he started to go back to his place where he came from. His expression on his face really made me laugh out loud. Oh my, you should be there to watch this scenario. If only I could record it.

And I remembered once, there was another friend of mine. We were suppose to tour around the new Uni (which is now already officially open) after out exams. While touring, of course we'll drop by the computer labs to check it out. So in one of the computer labs, we were there surfing around, when suddenly my friend came in. He was properly sat behind me, till suddenly, I heard a rushing sound, a sound where someone was trying to hide quickly from something. After few minutes, he came back up, saying, is he gone? is he gone? I wonder who was that, till he told me, that guy lar! Ohok! Understood. Another time he was also hiding behind the walls because of him. So much for avoiding him, while my friend came down the stairs looking somewhere else talking to another friend, out of nowhere, that guy appeared right behind him! When my friend turned to look, he got a shock of his life. His expression then also left me laughing out loud. I laugh till I got stomach ache lar! Hahahahahahaha!!!! I laugh so much, because I watch the whole incident happened, as I was standing somewhere near them and watch that guy slowly walking towards my friend. Gosh, poor him. Sometimes to think about him , I really pity him, however, knowing his attitude like that, I can't blame people from avoiding him!

Report Week

This whole week, I've only be working on report since last Saturday. If not reports, then assignments, got no time to start studying yet. Oh no! Finals is in a months time, maybe a few days lesser. It starts on the 6th and ends on the 12th. Though I can't wait for it to end, however, I also don't want it to start. Anyway, the time will come soon though, SO I better get started as soon as I can.

Movies pending, Resident Evil Extinction, The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising and Knocked Up. When will I have the time to watch these movies? A friend of mine invited me to watch Resident Evil Extinction with her bunch of friends who are also in Engineering, but I don't really know them well, this Thursday night, but I rejected cause I have to wait for my gang to watch. So, if my gang decided to leave me out, I'm going to kill them! HAHA.

CSI Addict

Recently, I'm addicted to the CSI's series, especially CSI NY and CSI Miami. Every Monday, I will definitely sit down in front of the TV from 8pm till 11pm. Haha. Yes I know I noticed how nice CSI is so late, but nevermind it's OK.

Hate Me

This song keeps singing in my mind lately.

(If you're sleeping are you dreamingI
f your dreaming are you dreaming of me?I
can't believe you actually picked me.)

(”Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon.
I was just calling to see how you ware doing.
You sounded really uptight last night.
It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded
like you were nervous, too.
I just wanted to make sure you were really OK,
And wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication.
You know I love you, and...
Take care honey
I know you're under a lot of pressure.
See ya. Bye bye”)

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you.
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

[Children voices:]
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming,
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me.
I can't believe you actually picked me

People around us

When I was much younger, my mum used to tell me, never trust any friends around you. You can have good friends and close friends, but you must not let them know too much about your personal life. I don't believe her last time, but now, I know why.

Everytime when I think I had a really good friends I can rely on, I realise I would lose it one day. Real close friends never did lasted around me. Maybe I'm fated to be a lone ranger. Since I was born I was already fated to be the one and only child in the family, and I guess that's the reason why. Or maybe I'm having an attitude problem which cause people to stay away from me. Damn that!

21 years living in this "journey of life" is not an easy one. My years might still be young, but I have been through what a 25 year old adult been through. I might sound emo, but it's true. I share some of my experiences with some of my friends who are older than me and they are surprised to listen to my stories cuz some never even had that experienced before. Sometimes I feel like as if I've live for ages already. Haha. Just joking.

As I grow older, I realise people around us, are just faking. It's difficult nowadays to find one who is really true. I'm serious! Because, I have already seen many. Even myself, sometimes I also fake. I admit, but I try not to do it so often since I myself dislike "fakers"(is there such word?). Sometimes is hard to blame why people are so fake nowadays, since the world itself is also turning fake. Everyone have no choice but to be the worst people in the world to survive in this era.

I am really pissed with people who looks down on me. Yes I am not as smart as you guys, I am not as hardworking as you guys, I am a total failure in Uni whereas you guys always score so damn great, but let me tell you ONE thing, listen and READ this "I might be a loser and failure in Uni, but once I graduate and start working, I will definitely beat those who even has honours or masters in their certificate!". MARK MY WORDS. Don't think that if your great in studies you will be great in the working life!! And once when I succeed in my working life, don't come running to me asking for help, cuz I don't help and don't do a favour for those who look down on me or those who treat me like a piece of shit! Doesn't mean if you don't tell me that you look down on me, don't think I do not know it, I might be stupid in studies, but I'm not stupid in reading what people think about me!

Crazy people doing crazy things

I am on a one week break now. So far, it had not really been a really great one, but a CRAZY one though. Started of on Friday, my ball night, I found it boring, so I left to Hard Rock early, around 10 something. The ball was held in Mandarin Oriental, KL. It was not bad lar actually, just that my group of friends weren't there, that's why it made me bored. I was tag along to go together with Su-Lyn and Ling Ying, I felt sorry for them as I left earlier, and the both of them are stranded there and waiting for someone to fetch them back. Lucky for Ling Ying, that her dad is willing to fetch her back at 11pm, however Su-Lyn, had to wait for another friend to fetch her back, so she had to suffer the boringness for a longer time. Poor her.

The next day, Saturday, I went back to Klang, since it had been a long time I didn't not go back already. I stayed in Klang till Wednesday, and only came back up today. The original plan was to come back up to Sunway on Wednesday, however, my vrazy friends CH, Alex, WW and Halim, after watching the movie Skinwalker in The Curve, out of no where, someone said, let's go genting, oh my god, I thought they were just kidding at first, but they weren't. At 5pm they decided to go genting, we went home, pack out things, met up at 8pm and left to genting. WW drove up his bro's Wish up, while going up the highlands, Alex took over and drove all the way up since he's better! Haha. Anyway, reach genting around 10pm, check in the hotel, went for dinner, then walk around the cold breeze outside in the dark. Quite scary. The tadaaaa!!! it was my first time entering the Casino, since I am already officially 21. Haha. I won lar, but not much. But proud though, first time entering and I won! Haha. It's just good luck lar!

Anyway, we didn't had much sleep, cuz we spent quite a long time in the casino, except for Halim and WW they both did not enter. Left genting the next day around 11am++ and reach Klang around 4pm after seeing the doctor again. For god sake, it's the third time in 2 weeks I visited the doctor. Enough! I need to be more careful in what I eat, cuz my throat is killing me.

Unwell

Nothing to blog about cuz I'm not in the mood. I'msick and feeling weak. That's all you guys need to know!

BUMMER!

MicroP exam just over this morning. It was supposed to be a 1 hour 45 minutes lab exam but instead it become a 2 hours plus test. And because of that, our written exam will be postponed till to be advised. Gosh non of us finished it. It was quite difficult as compared to last semester (how i knnew, cause I fail that sub last sem). Now out lecturer is deciding whether to give us another test, cuz he doesn't wants to fail us. Please I just hope for the best.

Every morning when I wake up, I feel very sleepy and always said to myself, what ever plan I plan for, I'm not gonna do it. But after bathing with icy cold water, and feeling more fresh, I'll do anything and sometimes even more that what I planned to do. Half a year ago I use to bathe with hot water because there was heater, but last month, I started bathing with cold water because the plug got burn and couldn't work anymore. Don't know what happen to it, stupid plug even the fius is not working if not, it wouldn't make a hole into the power point. The whole apartment was smelly everytime afetr I bathe, I didn't know why until 2 days later. I realised that the apertment always had this burned smell after I bathe, so one fine day, I decided to find out what was it, I followed the wire, and then there it was, the plug has melted. THANK GOD the apartment didn't blew up! God Bless Me!

Anyway, coming back to where I was, yeah, one down, 2 more to go. One this coming Saturday and another is to be advised.

Busy weekend

The weekend was a tiring one. I worked the whole day on Saturday from 7 in the morning till almost 9 in the night. I was working in Sunway Resort Hotel for the Monash graduation ceremony. Not me who's graduating but my other seniors who finished studying last year and this middle of the year. I was working for an australian photo studio company. Monash actually hired them to take studio pictures for those graduates and family. They really do look after their people huh. Because they can actually invite those photographer locally instead from overseas and in fact if they invite local studio photographers, it is much cheaper than hiring those from aussie. But it was fun working with them thought although is tiring and me and my other 2 friends had been standing practically most of the time. However, they were supposed to pay us RM250 at first, but then once everything end, they ended up paying us RM350 each. Wow! Good deal right? Haha. Anyway, in the end everything was worth though. Next year, I hope I will be working for them again. Haha, at least I can earn some money to buy myself more stuff that I want to!

Afterthat I was supposed to go for dinner together with Fara in KL. Ended up in hrc again. For the first time I was there, I felt like sleeping. Haha. It never felt this way before. Guess Iw as really tired. But I could still last through out the night, after everything, went for a drink, then straight back home and sleep immediately!~ Woke up around 12 something, when back to Klang to meet my parents along with chin huang at around 3pm. Home was like heaven when I only go back after 2 weeks plus. When home studied a little for a while, then sleep again, the bed was to resisting including the air cond as well. Gosh, but only slept a while lar. Pack my clothes because those in the apartment is running low. I realised my wardrobe is expanding very big already. Though I took out alot of clothes from the cupboard and hang those who were folded on the table the wardrobe is still very full!!!

Nevermind, that won't stop me from shopping unless I am real broke! Haha. Naughty me, I know I know. In the night, we went for dinner. We ate steamboat since my mum and chin huang wasn't feeling well. I sweat like hell wei! At around 9pm, my journey back home to sunway started together with chin huang. Reach home, continue studying again and then slept at 12 something. There goes the weekend!!!!~~~~

Thursday felt like Friday

Sorry tht I only blog things tht happened yesterday, today. I am lazy to go online when I am at home lar. That's why. I often use the pc in uni more than my laptop at home. I am distracted with other things like my bed, food, tv and yes cleaning. Have I ever mentioned before that I am one clean freak? I get very irritated when I see a single strain of hair on the floor. I'll pick it up nd throw right into the bin. Every time when I clean the house, I will make sure the floor is SHINNING clean. Yes I know I'm crazy at times, but this is just my nature lar. So whoever wants a housemate who cleans everytime, you can definitely find me! Haha.

Anyway, Manufacturing lab was cancelled in the morning, so I only had 2 hours lecture from 12-2pm but I skip cuz I was in the Elab working on the Altera again. So it does feel like Friday when actually, it is Friday today! Usually on Fridays I have one MicroP lecture and that's it. That's why yesterday felt like today! Haha. Usually, I hope that time past faster. But today, I hope that time passes by slower. Because I have 2 tests next week and I'm nto even half ready! Oh No!!!! I find it difficult for me to concentrate. Just don't know why la! Someone half to pinch me or give me a big tight slap to make me wake up! (Just Kidding!)

Tonight, I have to sleep early, I have to work from 7 in the morning till 7 at night. for 12 freaking hours, but thank god the pay is ok. In fact good lar. How good? (It's private and confidential) Anyway, I definitely need to sleep early tonight lar so that I won't faint while working! Haha.

That's all for now. Can't think of anything to blog about. Maybe tomorrow lar, or if not, Monday!

List of Posts

6th Sept 2007:
After 8 weeks of "relaxing", I have 2 tests next week. One for MicroP worth 20% in 3 hours, 2 hours lab test, an hour of written test. Gosh. Another one will be Manufacturing on Saturday. Suddenly need to study so much. Still don't have the real mood to study yet! But have to still, no choice unless I wanna fucking fail any subjects again. Anyway, I'm now in the Elab working on my Altera board which is damn boring at times. That's why I'm blogging! Lol~~

5th Sept 2007:
Last night I went to hrc with my friend Ijan. She will be flying to Jakarta tomorrow for 4 days, for holidays! Wow how nice! If only I could follow her there! But I'm studying, I cant, that's why sometimes I feel like working at least I have leaves to take and I can go anywhere with anyone. Her flight from LCCT to Jakarta is at 7am. She was so excited about this trip cuz she is going alone. At first she was suppose to go with another friend, but last minute the friend couldn't make it cuz didn't manage to get approval for leave.haha. Poor her. Well continuing, since she was so excited and her flight was so early, she needed to chek in an hour before, enough said, she had to take the bus from KL sentral at 4.30am. She was scared to fall asleep cuz she's worried that she'll miss the flight, so she decided to hang around in hrc together along with me. We had ample of time. By the time the band played their 3rd set, it was only 2.15am and we still had another 2 more hours to go before I could send her to KL sentral for her to catch the bus to LCCT. To waste our time, we went Lotus t had a drink and a meal I was feeling hungry so I ate if not I usually never eat after hrc but I didn't finish the mee goreng I ordered. Luckily time passed fast because we were exchanging grandmother stories aiya, you know lar girls gossiping.

After dropping her off, I flew back (as in drove real fast) as quick as I could cuz it was 4am in the morning and the road was quiet. Yeah I know. I won't go out so late so often when I'm alone anymore. Anyway I was scared also lar, cuz the last time I came back around 2 something after midnight studying I bump into a F**KING flasher as mentioned in mt post much earlier. It was even worst than bumping into a ghost wei! Lucky enough, I reached home safely, the lift weren't working so I ran up the stairs. Thank god onlu 6th floor, if it was 17th I think by the time I reach up, I need someone to fetch me to the hospital already! lol

4th Sept 2007:
Had MicroP lab as usual. I thought it was suppose to be Mr. Veera that will evaluate us today but instead it was still Mr. Nader (*jumps happily*). The most shocking news was when Mr.Nader annouced that our 20% test will be next week. In my hear I was like what the hell, why tell now? can't he told us earlier or something. Anyway, nevermind, nothing can be said and done excpet just STUDY. Things were normal as every Tuesday was, had lab in the morning, followed by a lecture, and then 3 hours of break and finally another 3 hours of project lab. After that went back home and slept a while. Dinner was at 8pm in Taman Paramount, the famous "yam tong" (soup) place. It is famous for their steam soup, in fact all their food there are steamed. It is healthy though. Since chin huang was not feeling well, that's why we decided to eat there. Then the night end after having a stick of cigarette and watching Beauty and the Gee, funny reality show though, watching the dumb beauties dating with geniuses geek guys!

3rd Seot 2007:
Classes always started at 11am on Mondays, it was Manufacturing lecture which was boring as ever. His damn voice is so monotonous that makes all his student sleep in the lecture. Well, after that I had a 1 hour only Modelling Tutorial. My day was just plain boring. Studied a lil though for manufacturing since the test is in 2 weeks time. After that, I need more sleep!

2nd Sept 2007:
It was TYen's birthday today. He's turning 21! So happy birthday yeah boy! Haha. Enjoy while you're still young (the way I ptu my words is like as if I am already old!) Anyway, I my age seems young, but honestly I've been through as much experience as a 25 year old human! Alright, as usual, we will celebrate everyone's birthday. This time we celebrated his in Jack's Place Sunway Pyramid. When he wanted to blow his birthday cake, he thought it was chocolate but it was durian instead. Sorry lar boy, we didn't know that you love chocolates. About his present, we could only afford to buy him a wallet when he wanted the Arsenal Jersey, sorry lar boy again, only 10 people sharing you present lar, not enough money. We would love to buy for you if our parents open a printing bank notes money! Anyway, hope you enjoyed the day and likes you present! At night, I went for dinner together with chin huang's parents and then only he told me that his parents might celebrate the bro's birthday which is on the 3rd Sept. So again I bought another cake and ate another cake. Both from the same place "Cake Sense" but diffrent flavour lar of cuz, this time it was orange. I love to buy cakes from there if the occasion is small because the cake is just nice for small group. And the price is reasonable and the decoration, close to fantastic. Lol~~

1st Sept 2007:
Today was Midvalley's turn to have their Midnite sale. When they say Midnite, means the shops will all close at 12am. Kinda weird though. Usually when people say midnite, it was suppose to at least last a while after midnite, not immediately close at 12am. Anyway, the sale weren't that great lar. In fact only certain shop participate, not all. Some, right after 10, they start closing already. So boring and not sporting. Haha. But common man, it is midnite sale for the whole shopping complex, just participate lar, at least got more to look forward to than to only see certain shops open. Plain old boring things. Didn't buy anything for myself and chin huang though, just bought the wallet for TYen and a sleeveless shirt for Paula, my dear lady singer from the band Redemption who once played in Hard Rock Cafe, KL in the month of June and July. She's hot babe! But sorry, she's married already. Haha. And she have a nice name, Joanne-Paula. Sweet~I woke up late today because I went to Hard Rock with my friends to chill. After clubbing, I went Lotus again to drink till about 4.30am and by the time I reached home it was already 5am. That explains why I woke up late. After I woke up, I had a short study period along with chin huang at Mcd's and then at my apartment. Well, I was also actually supposed to go midnight study together with cher and kc, but I told her I will be late so I guess she waited for me till bored already and her bf wants to sleep early, so we cancelled that plan. Haha! So called for our studying night. The next time cher, we MUST start doing it, remember, we don't want to have the same feeling of fear we had only studying few days before our paper! Haha. And I promise to be early so that you won't wait till sien!~

31st Sept 2007:
Firstly, Happy 50th Merdeka Malaysia! Yeah, for foreigners who are reading, it's our Malaysia's birthday! Haha. Anyway, I woke up late today because I went out shopping in 1U midnight sales together with chin huang and after that when to meet up with his friends and gambled a while till 4am. Bought hell alot of things. I bought myself 4 t-shirts and chin huang bought himself 2 t-shirts and 2 boxers. Signed my card till no one's business. Haha, look like next month I have to be worried of my credit card bill! Anyway, it is fun to once in a while go shopping like this. I was real happy with what I bought! Enough said. After that we watche Fracture. It's a good movie, watch it if you haven't.

-Alright, I'm signing off now, another lab session is coming in so I need to get the hell out of this lab!- Adios!

No MicroP Lab

Yes, the title says so, microP lab has been cancelled today and I'm in uni randomly doing something. I knew it yesterday that the lab was cancelled but I still came only thing abit later instead of 8am just to continue on with lab 3. But now since I don't have the C codes to run the specific task, I'm blogging. Haha.

Anyway, today is already Tuesday, 4 more days will be my grand 21st birthday party. Gosh aren't I excited. I am but not as excited as you think I am. Probably is not that near yet! Anyway I will be celebrating it in the Royal Selangor Yatch Club in Port Klang on the 18th of August 2007. Yes, especiall to Tan Sue-Li whom is stuck in Aus, and I can't invite you, this is where I will be celebrating. I will try to post some pics, but if you can't find it here, please go to my friendster and see lar. Easier also lar ah po!~

Well, this is the biggest party I ever planned in my entire 21 years of living in this world! Maybe the next big one will be my wedding, but not so soon lar of cuz! 21!1 Gosh I can't believe I am an official adult already. Can practically enter the casino for real, and also clubbing for real. Don't have to sneak in already (not that I've tried sneaking in before) I always just go in. I look matured or I can say old I guess that's why they don't usually check. On with my party, I will be having my party at the poolside unless it starts raining and I have to shift inside the restaurant instead. But I really hope it wont't rain. One is because it's fun having a poolside party, second, there is another birthday celebration going on in the club as well which is also inside the restaurant, as I only invited most to most 100 people, the other party had 15o people. Oh my, I don't want my party to be together with those outsiders, no offence but then if ever we mixed out parties together, it will be like hell!

Typing this post makes me more excited about my party! Haha. I invited lots of relatives and friends! Oh my, I really hope my party will turn out to be a great one!

Tired but still surviving

Gosh, what a long today. Been awake since 7.30 in the morning till now. I had 2 labs today. Micro. P lab was the most tiring one which starts from 8 till 11. Can you imagine early in the morning already dealing with programming. Woo, this is the last thing that I ever wanna touch and think man! Who ask me to be so stupid and lazy that I failed this subject and had to repeat again. All thanks to my laziness, but I promise myself I'll try my best to do well this semester.

Micro lab is never that fun last sem when I took it cuz it's in groups of three. Now that I am on my own, I learn more. Is a good thing though but having to start it from scratch is tiring. Building the stupid system then waiting for it to compile is irritating enough. Not only that, let's just say if one of the item we added into the system is wrong, that's it we have to redo and compile again. These take for hours man! That's why sometimes is time wasting. Miss one step, and there goes your day.

What happen to me today was, last week, the project that I saved in the local C drive was all gone. FUCK whoever who deleted it, I had to start again. But I was not that bad, my friend Alex was even worst. At least I realised it and started building it again.

What happen to Alex was like this, he came in the morning, reading the lab sheet for the last exercise. While reading he was already scratching his head on how to do it, then kept asking and dreaming till Mr. Nader even commented that he was looking around more than doing his work. Then he just kept "kepo-ing" around other people's one without realising his not done yet. He even tried to debug and typed C codes to make the altera board run as hoped. While debugging it, he praying and hoping that everything was fine, but sadly, didn't then round 10, he got fed-up and tried to ask Yoong Kang for help. While trying to figure out what's wrong, Yoong Kang realised the error and told Alex, this is not the file! Alex when like "Oh No!!". Haha. Funny him, after 2 long hours, he had to start it all over again. Poor him though.

Anyway, we will be doing the god damn lab again on Thursday. Haha, hopefully everything goes well for everyone including my baby..!!

Waiting

I hate waiting. I dislike people who likes to make me wait. While waiting for you, I can do so many stuff but because you always said wait shortly, I waited. Next time why don't I try making you wait then you tell me how it feels alright? WASTE OF TIME! FUCK!!!

Just updates

Firstly, Sue-li if you're reading this post, I'm sorry for not posting anything for a long time. Had been lazy not busy to post up stuff..Sorry again~!

Anyway, nothing interesting happen lately. Since the first week of uni started, it has all been wake up, get ready to go uni, go for class, class done, go back, eat dinner(only sometimes), watch tv, do some revision then sleep. So BORING right? My god, I can't stand this life at times, feel like giving up and just having fun. But without a degree, I won't get a good job, no good job leads to no good salary and no good salary leads to no good life. In short, still have to study~ =(

I got another 1 and the half year more to go, provided I don't fail more. Hopefully.

Lately, I already watched almost all the english movies that are shown in the cinema. Starting from transformers-nice, die-hard 4-wow, harry-potter-not as good as the previous one, the simpsons-super funny, disturbia-boring, the invisible-touching. So far till now, the only show that i havent watch is bordertown casting jennifer lopez. I'm waiting to watch that too. Besides, I'm waiting for rise of the blood hunter, rush hour 3 and ratatouille to come out!

I'm blogging because I'm having break now till 12, anyway, gotta go makan first, will have lectures from 12-2pm. Before I get gastric again I better grab something first.

Sayonara!

First day of Lab

Last week was just pure lectures, this week, my labs started. I had my first modelling lab and tute today. So far so good, at least we weren't so lost like how we are when we did power lab last year. Cuz this time my lecturer Dr. Edwin and the tutor, I don't know how to spell his name, is very good. haha. They are so helpful. Now, I'm hoping when I do my thesis next year, I'll get the opportunity to be under him, as he is much better and helpful compared to the other lecturers man!



So far, this modelling lab still look and feel ok. I'm hoping all 4 labs for modelling will also be ok. This time, I promise to myself I will be more hardworking than the semesters that had past. Yes, I must, no matter how tough it takes. Some might think I'm just bullshitting, but this time I'm for real. I WILL make myself study!!

Birthdays

I'm back in Klang not to spend time at home but to attend my dear friends birthday party. One each night, Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night as well. Yup, since all the 1986s are all 21 this year, it's a big celebration for everyone, maybe not everyone, but most.



Tonight, I attended one which was very grand, it's like attending a wedding dinner. But it was fun though. I was so glad that I met alot of my long time no see friends, and i missed chatting with them and also laughing with them. I remember those were the days, when we meet up with one another just to gossip or maybe joke around or what so ever. But now, most of us have our own paths, all walking on different paths that separates us. Some remains the same, some really change 180 degrees.



I realised we are all now 21, being and official adult, everyone will have their on way. Some already working, some still studying, like me, some just started studying, some flying off to further their studies. People change huh, some getting fatter, some getting prettier, some getting thinner, some getting taller, some getting more handsome but sad to say there are some who are getting uglier. Haha, what to do, this is life, things change whether you like it or not.

Confused

I'm sometimes very confused with what I'm doing. Am I blind or am I not? Am I all out of love or I want more? Why am I doing things that I'm not supposed to do and not doing things that I am supposed to do? What's with me nowadays? What happened to the Yuen Shin that I once knew? Sometimes I feel that I've changed to be a very different person whom people no longer know me that well anymore. Why did I changed? Did I do it on purpose? Did I do it for the sake of doing it? Or did I do it just because I want to please everyone? I know it's wrong, but I still continue doing it. There are a lot of things that I want to talk about to someone who I can trust, but I can't because I don't trust anyone besides myself. I cry sometimes wondering what has become of me? I don't know who am I now. I need someone to tell me and guide me, but who? Enough said, sometimes I hope I was never born out in this world!

New beginning

2nd sem had started and a new study life begins. I must now remind myself, no playing, no smoking, no drinking etc. but can I avoid myself from doing all this? We'll see by the mid of this semester.

Exam Stress Is Over!

And so the title says, exams are over. I have less stress now until the 13th when the results are gonna come out. Anyway, although it's been a stressful 3 weeks, but I will definitely miss those weeks. I miss going to Mcd almost every night to study and one day before a paper, I used to stay up very late together with alex and sometimes with cher studying all the way till 4 and only having 3 hours of sleep. Pimples start popping out like nobody's business and my face look so dead now. Look like a old aunty.haha!

As for now, I will take a break from Mcd. Enough of Mcd maybe until the next semester begins. This is the first time through out my schooling time, till SAM, till uni, I'm so stressed out till I break down into tears. I never felt like that before. Maybe this year is really though. Honestly I regretted taking engineering, but I can't turn back time now, I must finish this no matter how difficult it takes.

Anyway, throughout exams and late night studies, SHIT happened. There was one night where I came back around 2 something in the morning after studying in Mcd, while I was on the way up in the lift to my 6th floor, i fucking bump into a flasher. This fucker got down on the 3rd floor and while walking out of the lift, he flash his fucking cock to me. Being "quite" calm, in my heart I was like what the fuck are you trying to do but at the same time scared, I still managed to spray the fucking pepper spray at him, but he managed to avoid it. Stupid blardy bastard, fucking sex maniac, nothing better to do is it? The next time I see him I will spray the pepper spray on his cock instead, FUCKER! watch out man!

From now on, if I come back late nights, I will either put a night in cher's house or chin huang's hse or either as chin huang to overnight in the apartment. This place, Lagoon Perdana is fucking scary. Even now the lights in the lift aren't working, only one is lighted up and the lift is dim.

Tonight, I did nothing much only when to 1U jalan-jalan. Wanted to watch a movie, but the time are not suitable, then we went to play snooker with Alex instead. After that when to it "lut-lut" and I'm having stomach ache now, I wonder is it because of the "lut-lut"? sigh..

For this holiday, I will be going to singapore with my friends.Yay! A good break finally. Away from stress and problems. Was supposed to plan to go to bali, but because I decided to shop with my spiff, I cancelled the trip to bali and will only go another time. Too bad this time the spiff isn't as good as the previous one, so things that I wanna do are more constraint. LOL~~

Enough said, without exam there's no stress, but sometimes is boring when I come to think about it. Sometimes a little stress is good. At least it lights up my life a little. HAHA! Now I have to plan how to fill my time till the next semester begins.

More to come on the next blog. I'm sleepy now, need to catch up with my sleep! GOOD NIGHT!!!

Big girls don't cry

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da

I love this song so much. Don't know why, but just love it. Anyway it's dedicated to a friend of mine. =)

A day away yet still dreaming

It's only one and the half day away from my first paper, and I'm still have time to blog. I don't know why I can make myself concentrate during the day but my brains can work better during the night. In short, I can only study well at nights. Last night till 3am I was in McD ss15 studying with my friends. I can't afford to this everynight cuz my exams are still a long way go till the 25th June.

If I sleep late every night, one fine day I will fall sick and cannot afford to fall sick if I want to pass all my papers. That's the problem with last minute studying. Every time when I study towards exams are coming, I will tell myself "next time must study earlier then don't have to struggle till like that" but somehow it won't happen.

Semester after semester I've been repeating the same old routine. DAMN~! Is there anyone that can suggest me a better way of forcing myself to study? sigh... I know i know, I play too much also but that's just me lar..as long study and pass can already, don't need to score so high. It's not a good attitude though!

Resolution

My resolution for these two months is to SLIM down. And mark my words, I WILL!!
-shit i must no matter what although these 3 days, I've been eating good food...- haha

Crazy In Love

I'm so crazy in love these few days. Not with boys but with shopping. Lately, I've been doing shopping a lot as compared o other years, and what's worst, they are all expensive. OMG, I need to cut down before I declare myself bankrupt! Haha...

Here are a lst of things I bought for the past one month:

1. Naf Naf dress
2. La Primavera Heels
3. Lewre Sandals
4. MNG spagetti stripe
5. Blouse from Top shop
6. ELLE handbag
7. Tube top from Top shop
8. Yin & Yang dress
9. 2 Esprit T-shirt
10. Arnold Palmer T-shirt
11. Skirt from Tribeca
12. One long top from some side stalls in Subang Parade

My total bill just buying all those came up to about RM1200. Haha..crazy..When I look at it, I don't believe myself after calculating my receipts!

Lately I've been buying bottles and bottles of nail polishes too. And some make up lar...Maybe I'm trying to be a real girl already..cuz I'm officially turning 21 in hmm let me see... 2 months 14 days time ..lol~~~

Conclusion: I NEED TO CONTROL AND START SAVING. If unless I have sponsors I will continue... =)

Besides the crazyness of shopping, I'm trying to diet also so that I can fit into all my clothes which I can't wear last time..forcing myself to lose weight. I already made deals with certain friends, trust me, the next sem, you'll see me slimmer than before.. haha (I better hope so!) ;)

Boring

When it comes to studying it's always boring. I wonder why/ Maybe I'm just not interested in it. Honestly, I can't wait to work and earn my own money. Most of my friends fear of working but I'm not. I wonder why again. Am i that weird? I feel that working life suites me better than studying. But now no matter what I have to force myself to study just to get the degree and then I can continue with life.. ha~~ that's my plan..faster study finish, faster work..

Coming to think about working, I don't think I will end up working as what I'm studying. I don't enjoy engineering that much. And if I'm given a chance, I would had major in marketing and finance. But it's too late already. Nevermind, when I work, I still have the slight chances. haha~~

Sometimes when some juniors asked me should they study engineering, I will advise them, if you're not a hardworking person, better not! It's true..in this course you can't get lazy, you barely have time to get lazy, if you're lazy you'll end up strugling like me. 2 weeks before exam getting scared and worried and over-stressing myself.

Anyway, I have to end now. I seriously need to get back to study before I fail another paper..

chao~~

Ramdom

I'n so boring that i've started blogging again. At least ppl whom I hardly see will know what's going on with me.. haha..

Anyway, I was suppsoe to study since finals are approaching but I can't seem to focus well. What I'm doing now is planning for my hols more than paying attention while studying.. NAUGHTY ME!I know I know, will start paying attention, if not I'll fali again like 2 sems ago..better hope and pray hard not!

Talking about hols, it will be here soon once my exams are over. Since it's for 3 weeks, I think I'll try to find a lot of thing to do, i.e. going to singapore, genting, cameron highlands and maybe crazy enough bali...that depends how much of $$$ i've got..haha...any sponsors?

Well, I better get back to my book world before I dream further..

tata!!~~

You

You know why i can't study? Its because of you who neglects me lately, because of you saying you're sien of me, beause of you who don't put me as your first priority anymore. If you think that you're right and think again. It won't take you long. Sometimes I feel you've changed but you think I'm crazy if i ever tell you that. You don't used to be someone who I once knew and who i wanted to be with. Last time you will volunteer, now i must beg. WHY? Did i did something wrong to you that you hate me so much. If you really hate me so much, then why continue? Why you always lie to me that you love me when i asked you?

Sometimes I wonder whether you're getting more bored with me cuz I don't study or maybe cuz I'm stupid. If you do, meaning you don't love me for who I am. Everytime I see you with your friends I get very jealous, beacuse you seems to be happier with them than with me..You don't know how I feel sitting next to you when you're laughing along with you friend but when you're with me, you just keep quiet till i bring up a conversation.

Sometimes you make me feel so sad till I don't know where I stand in your heart. Everything that I asked for is so hard to be done but when your friends ask for it. it's just a simple "yes". When I wanna watch the movie, it's usually "no" because you have so much thing to do, but when your friends asked, straight away the answer is "yes". WHY? You know I love you so much that I am willing to follow your flow without complaining. But I don't know how long can I stand. Please don't blame me if I ever leave you one day.

Everyday I try my best to be a better person so that you will not find me sien. But I realized the more I try, the worst it gets. Because of you treating me like that. I had to find another girlfriend of mind to be my company. Someone who can share my problems with. You used to be that person, but now I find it hard to tell you stuff, cuz u always act like you're not listening. You are not that guy that I used to love 8 months ago. You were very different then.

WHY did you change? Is it because you feel that I'm stupid, or maybe you feel I'm getting uglier, or maybe you don't want me anymore. Everytime when I wish you were there for me, but you weren't. I always tell myself, maybe you are very busy studying, so don't disturb him but then I realize I'm just lying to myself to be happy. Inside me, I know you're not so into me anymore like you used to. I always thought you weren't that tyoe of guy, but you proof me wrong. I'm here now to give you a chance to proof me wrong. Show me that you still love me not just saying it. I'm not complaining, but I just want you to realize that I'm unhappy and what I feel. If I'm given one wish, I would prefer you to be you last time.

You know I love you very much, but why do you take me for granted? You know I'm willing to do anything for you no matter what your answers are, but don't you feel evil sometimes? You know something that I have not tell you lately? Call me stupid, but no matter how much pain I'm going through, there is only YOU in my heart.

-I LOVE YOU-

ONE MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY

My previous post was just about dear celebrating my birthday for me. This one now, is about my great friends whom brought more fun into my birthday this year. At 11 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds, 20th august 2006, was the last minute of my birthday.

Earlier this morning, I was just staying at home so boring. Chat with su-lyn, weng wai, ling ying and complaint to yoong kang that is so boring and he asked back, "birthday also so boring ar?". Then was chatting with wei leng and I actually asked her "what day is today ar?" she answered, "what day?" I said, "my birthday la!" then she said, "don't lie"..hahaha..then nevermind, dear came over twice, once was to pass me my lunch then he left 10 minutes later to fetch his sister from piano class and the other one was to pass water to me. Before he passed the water to me, I called him and asked him where was he, he said he was on the way to edwin's house to return back some money. Then I was wondering, wah~~so free to run here and there ar? He took a on hour nap when he left back to home at 4pm and said he'll bring me out for dinner later.

Okay, being as blur as usually wei leng can be, maybe this time I'm more blur. Firstly, everything was already planned. Everyone's acting skills were very good. I give you all an A++. Chat with su-lyn, she never mentioned anything about celebrating my birthday, chat with ling ying also like that, chat with weng wai also something like that, just telling me, "ok, I need to go out, chat later" then chat with yoong kang, he can tell me, "oklar, have to go out already, bye bye!" Chat with wei leng somemore never wish me and keep talking about her eric c (sorry lar didn't read your blog till now). And most of all, my dear. Full of drama, when I called him in the afternoon before he passed me the water, he told me he was on the way to edwin's house when actually he was together with weng wai still searching for my cake that I wanted to eat so much. Then in the evening when I was waiting for him to come I messaged him and ask where was he, he said he was on the LDP highway, damn jan, when actually he was already at uni waiting for the rest to come before he can come and fetch me, after fetching me, he pretend to ask where I want to eat and when I said don't know, he came out with an idea, let's eat thai food, spicy somemore. I was like OK.

While searching for parking, he was acting weird when I suggested to use the road that will pass by the restaurant and after parking and while walking to the restaurant, I turned my head and saw my friends, weng wai, su-lyn, ling ying, yoong kang, benjamin, tee yen and aik hoong all sitting down on the table. The moment I entered, weng wai and the rest were like, "eh how come you all here? wah so ngam we eat in the same place! and got extra chair somemore!" hahahaha, you guys really made my day. At the dinner table, dear told me, cannot find you "Suchan" cake shop lar. I was like nevermind lar, any cake also can, don't have to purposely be that particular one but in the end, it was the TIRAMISU CAKE FROM SUCHAN! Hmm, how many more surprises you want to give me baby? haha

Thanks to wei leng for coming though you showed up late and for tee yen for turning up though you are not feeling well. To ben who had to sacrifice his MAN U game and for eating so much that MAN U managed to score so many goals. and of cuz to the rest also. It's ok, halim if you can't make it. calling me "jie jie" in your message is already touching enough also! haha. everyone, THANK YOU THANK YOU!! muaks muaks

I guess, my special birthday brought luck to some people. Wei Leng, you wont a N73 handphone and baby, you won't kinda alot in poker!! I hope I'll always be everyone's lucky charm. ;)

Having you all as my friends are already one great present to me every single year. Without you guys, I don't know what will everyday be like. =) You guys will be in my heart no matter what. Love you guys!!

And last but not least, having chin huang as my boyfriend is also the greatest gift for me. I love you!

p/s: but guys, you still owe me my present! but I also can't think what is out there for you all to buy for me already when the best are all in front of me!

Happy Birthday to ME

Well, yes, as the title says, it's my birthday today. My dear wanted to be the earliest to celebrate my birthday, so we celebrated yesterday. He brought me to Victoria Station and later, went for the movie "Click" together with Weng Wai nd Halim. It was a nice movie. Worth watching! I cried at certain parts of the movie. Touching yet funny. After movie, baby fetch me back, had a slow drive so when the clock strike 12am, he will be the first to wish me face to face. Yay! Guess what was my present from him?? A beautiful lovable necklace from diamond and platinum. I like it very much. Thank you very much, Chin Huang dear. *smiling*


Every birthday, will be a memorable one because it has its special memories. But this year, will be extra special. Celebrating with the one I LOVE and the one that meant a lot to me. That special person itself can be my birthday present already. I wish there will be more of these birthdays in years to come. Thank you very much for everything, dear.

Tired me

FIRST OF ALL, SORRY WEI LENG, DON'T GET JEALOUS LAR, I HAVE NOT DON'T MUCH THING WITH YOU BESIDES TALKING ON THE PHONE THAT'S WHY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BLOG ABOUT YOU! -anyway, should be proud that your name appeared already!!!-

Anyway, I slept for 10 hours on Thursday night. So damn tired. Dear fell sick yesterday but got worst the next day. So pity of him. He has not recovered yet till today. Maybe I'm not very good at looking after him but I did my best. lol. Well, I hope he gets well soon lar, before I end up getting sick again.

The day dear started to get sick, he got trap in bad lucks too. Pityful but funny when come to think about it. Got sort of scolding from mum early in the morning, a saman later in the morning, he was my partner in Digital Systems Lab, and we had to like do some experiment to find out the result. So we had to use this electrical component called and IC and can u imagine we connected the circuit for like 3-4 times and changes 3 ICs and the 3 ICs that was changed are all spoilt. OMG, really man, things like that barely happen, but it did, to us. *sigh* But nevermind lar, it's already over dear! hahahaha!

Work, work, work and more work

It's only the second week of the semester, but the loads of work, omg, it's getting more! We have maths tute to finish up, digital system preliminary work to be done before class, and also tute, then we have to discuss about our mechatronics project cause we need to pass up a proposal by next week. Adding to it, I have to study mechanics since I'm gonna retake the deffrered examination paper in August. So many things to do, so little time. Lucky I'm studying with my dear, so still got time to spend together while studying, if not, I can't imagine how to find time for one another. So now, we study and at the same time appreciate the time we spend together. Come to think about it, though it might be tiring, but worth it. =p

I realised my pimples are popping more and more these few days. Damn it! Its irritating! Maybe I should start eating proper food and not junk food and force myself to shit everyday!

Can't think of what to write already! So, adios!

Bye bye first week

Well, so fast the first week of the 2nd semester is already gone. My oh my, can you imagine how fast time past. This first week is mostly like a honeymoon week for most of us since there are only lectures. (ok i admit for mostly me and dear, it's seriously honeymoon week) But by next week we MUST be serious (mark my words for this) We have to, in order to try to overload the next semester. Anyway, everyday is a happy day for me as I spent most of the time with my dear. I'm so happy!! And I hope you are too, dear.

Today, I went shopping with my dear. The happiest shopping spree ever because I shopped together with my boyfriend for the first time. You won't want to know how much did both of us spent in *let me think* 4 hours. (secret, not going to tell). But hell, it was a lot. He bought himself 4 shirts, one shorts and a pair of slipper. I bought myself, 4 tops, one belt, a pair of slipper and one set of lingerie. More shopping to come, but not at the moment, broke already, maybe next year only la, when got more money. haha. But we did had a fun time carrying so many shopping bags and trying all kinda clothes. We went back home to nap for a while before we went out to have dinner. At 9, we went to ss2, the same restaurant that we had our lunch together with our uni friends for dinner again. Dear likes the "La Mien" (handmade noodles) there. I like it too!

Supposedly, we had to meet up with weng wai and halim, but half way while driving, dear's friend called him and asked whether they want to meet up to yum cha in sri hartamas along with dear's ex-gf. Sorry to weng wai, we had to ffk him and went to meet up with chin huang's friends in hartamas instead. My heart beat a little fast as I had to meet his ex-gf. I didn't really mind but at first I was afraid that he mind. Lucky he didn't also la, but yet, I still felt weird. But anyway, after meeting up, I was okay la. Hope he is too =p (Dear, I believe you are).

Well, here's a message for dear chin huang (which might make you guys *shiver* again):
Dear, no matter what happens, I will still love you. Though you make me worried for a while and sometimes made my heart stopped beating for a second, I will still love you. Nothing's going to change my feelings towards you. You will remain as the guy I love most for as long as it can. I won't say forever but I will just say for as long as I'm alive and I hope you will too. I TRULY LOVE YOU, CHEN CHIN HUANG. =)

Haze is back

Oh no! The god damn haze is back! When the haze comes, my health turns bad also. I hate that! I was sick last week. Somehow or rather recovered after 1 week plus cause I went to see the doctor. Today, my stomach is playing games with me. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. I don't know why. I just vomitted though, but stomach still very very uncomfortable. Blardy haze! Don't know where the hell's burning again.

Since I'm retaking my Mechanics, so my dear gave me my first "tuition" lesson today. He's good at this subject so he will teach me. =p

Things were as usual as every other day. Dear came to fetch me for class, had lunch, then went to ss15 to collect his money (world cup betting) and came back home to rest. Had mamak food for dinner. Maybe that is one of the cause for my uncomfortable stomach. =(

Hope I will feel better tomorrow~~~~