WILL computing be my favourite subject?

oh no...last sem and this sem i had to learn this stupid c++ subject....shit lar..first when i was born i had to learn english language, then started to learn chinese language and now COMPUTER LANGUAGE!! what the hell, i will never understand what is it....

we usually speak E.N.G.L.I.S.H how in the world am i gonna learn to speak C.L.A.N.G.U.A.G.E?
someone teach me! lol

Depressed

i'm so not myself thses few days, seriously i need a break..a break far from everyone, a break far from KL.. i need a peaceful place to think what and who am i now..from the beginning of this year till now, i'm so not myself at all..not the Yuen Shin people once knew, not the Yuen Shin people once see, not the Yuen Shin people once used to laugh with..

i'm in great dilemma that i can't say it out in public..i'm so sick of living.. i'm dead serious..i'm wondering now whether to still be seen or not..i'm starting to get depressed..i think i need to talk to someone who can actually help me with my problem before i end up getting crazy..i need someone who can actually wake me up from all this trouble..take me far away..FAR FAR away..

deep down inside me i don't really feel like going to australia to study already, but then because of all the problems and troubles that are going through here, i can't stand it but to leave..i know people will say why should i run away from my problems and instead settle it, but it's not as easy as it seems..i'm trying very hard to solve it, but it never do..so what's the last resort? to run away from it!

do i have a choice? i have to agree with everyone in order to fit in any group, i have to agree with any decision made by people who i respect and love..if i don't will i be having friends now? if i don't do you think people will at least still recognized Yuen Shin as their friend? if i'm always the leader, i don't think i'll actually have any friends already..i am still happy and grateful to have all my friends that I am with now, but then i know there are things which i'm not satisfy with as well, but do i have the choice but to shut up? it's impossible for me to say what have i got to say because in the end i will lose everthing..

i ADMIT i am scared to lose people..if i choose to confront i have to be prepared to lose, but then i am not prepared for it..

p/s: this is only meant to be read. forget about trying to help..is not that i'm trying to be bossy, but then no one can help me but myself, thanks for those who care, and if you care for me, just do me a favour, don't ask me anything..thank you

I WILL FIND MY WAY OUT SOMEDAY....

why "S"

why makes things so difficult when it's so simple actually?

why make me cry when i'm all the while happy?

why make me suffer when i was having fun all the time?

why make my life so miserable when it was sailing smoothly all the while?

why am i losing friends when i used to have plenty once?

why am i failing when i used to pass all the while?

why can't people understand me when i can understand people?

why can't someone just make me happy?

why can't someone stop me from crying?

why can't i have happiness like everyone does?

why can't i have something perfect in my life?

why must i suffer till i always feel like committing suicide?

why must i get hurt when other people don't?

why can't i have a piece of mind?

why must i think so much?

year after year after year

years had passed, yet i still go through the same shit every year..people say easy come easy go, but somehow or rather i easy come HARD go..haha

i hope that i had never bumped, i hope i never had like, i hope i had never had loved and then i will never start..

i hope i never had see, i hope i never had listen, i hope i never had knew and then i won't get hurt..

i'm now just waiting for time to pass by and see what comes next for me