I'm blind and invisible

I'm sick for more than a week already, but have not recover yet...i'm having a very bad sorethroat, adding to that, my cough is here now, so my throat is even more hurt...i've been coughing very very badly for the past few days, especially in the night, that tonight, i could already taste blood in my throat...

do i need to actually cough blood out and get admitted to a hospital, then only someone will realise that i'm actually sick? or maybe i should cough till i die, then only someone will realise that i'm suddenly no where to be seen...friends come friends go, and only when i'm in need, i can see who are my real friends...friends who really care for you, friends who are really in great help when you need one and most important of all, friends who accept you for who you are...

maybe, i'm fucking invisible to someone's eyes...i was never appeared in that person's eyes before, i'm blind for all these while, i always thought it was like that, but it never was, it was all the while the opposite of what i was thinking..i was blinded in the beginning..but blessing in disguise, i realised and came to a stop...i woke up from my "dreamland" and i stopped everything...i don't want to care anymore, i don't want to waste my effort on something that i know will never happen...

NOW, i wanna recover from my cough and bad sorethroat soon, so that i can start focussing and achieve my goal, at least i know if i study hard enough, i will be and earn what i want in future, better than putting hope in something that i know i will never get..

if you regret one day, don't come back to me cuz for me, when it's gone, IT'S GONE...life's never a beautiful one, until you find what you really want...